Category: LIFESTYLE

Who are you? Who do you want to become?

Identity-based financial goals are more powerful than you think.

“The goal is not to read a book. The goal is to become a reader,” writes James Clear in his bestseller, Atomic Habits. When it comes to financial planning, we can learn much from this brief nugget of wisdom.

Many of us set financial goals based on outcomes.

“I want to save X amount.”

“I want to retire at 60.”

“I want to pay off my bond in 15 years.”

And there’s nothing wrong with that. Goals give us direction. But sometimes they don’t give us enough motivation, especially when the path gets difficult. Sometimes we need to dig a little deeper.

That’s where identity-based planning can help.

The power of identity

James Clear’s work on habit change offers a simple but powerful idea:

If you want lasting change, don’t just focus on what you want to achieve, focus on who you want to become.

The goal isn’t just to save.

It’s to become someone who saves.

The goal isn’t just to invest.

It’s to become an investor.

The goal isn’t just to be generous.

It’s to become a giver.

This shift changes everything. Because when your actions reinforce your identity, every small step becomes part of something bigger.

So how does this work in financial planning?

Let’s say your goal is to grow your wealth. That’s a good outcome, but it’s also abstract.

Now reframe it: “I want to become the kind of person who consistently invests in their future.”

See the difference? One is a destination; the other is a decision about who you are and how you show up.

You might:

• Set up a monthly debit order to your investment account
• Track your spending with curiosity instead of guilt
• Start reading investment articles, not because you need to, but because it’s what investors do

Every one of those actions confirms your identity, and builds momentum.

Life will throw curveballs. Markets will dip. Goals will need adjusting. But when your actions are rooted in identity, you’re more likely to keep going. Because even when the numbers don’t move, you’re still becoming someone you’re proud of.

So here’s a reflection question for us all: Who are we becoming through our financial decisions?

If we start there, the rest, budgets, investments, retirement plans, can be built around that foundation.

Because good financial planning isn’t just about reaching a target. It’s about helping you become the kind of person who lives the life you’ve always wanted.

You have a lens, and here’s why it matters…

Financial planning is often seen as a numbers game, retirement goals, investment returns, tax efficiency. But beneath the spreadsheets lies something far more personal: our stories, values, and lived experiences.

And that’s where things get interesting.

As financial planners, we work with individuals and families from diverse cultural backgrounds, belief systems, and worldviews. Yet many of the tools we use, goal-setting frameworks, risk tolerance models, even the concept of “financial independence”, are built on Western ideals. They often emphasise individualism, accumulation, and long-term control. These aren’t wrong, but they are a lens. And if we never examine that lens, we risk applying assumptions that simply don’t spark the conversations that truly connect with us.

For some of us, financial security means having a strong retirement portfolio. For others, it may be about taking care of aging parents, funding a cousin’s education, or building a legacy within a close-knit community. In many cultures, money is not just personal, it’s communal, spiritual, or symbolic.

When our financial planning doesn’t take these perspectives into account, it can feel out of touch. And worse, it can unintentionally dismiss what truly matters to our loved ones.

One of the most powerful tools in your financial planning toolkit isn’t a calculator, it’s curiosity.

When we take time to reflect on our own upbringing, cultural assumptions, and professional biases, we begin to see how our perspective has been shaped. And that insight allows us to become better listeners. Better partners. Better leaders.

It means asking questions like:

• “What does financial freedom mean to you?”
• “What traditions or values influence your financial decisions?”
• “Are there any beliefs about money that feel important to acknowledge in your planning?”

We don’t need to have all the answers, but we do need to create space to ask more inclusive questions.

At its heart, financial planning is about helping us make decisions that align with our values, not simply conform with everyone else. And when we make space for diverse perspectives, we unlock deeper trust, stronger relationships, and more meaningful financial outcomes.

As the author Anthony Robbins puts it:

“To communicate effectively, we must realize that we are all different in how we perceive the world and use this understanding to guide our communication with others.”

In a world that’s more connected, and more complex, than ever before, this kind of empathy isn’t optional. It’s essential.

Because great financial planning doesn’t just respect the numbers. It respects the whole person.

Meaning starts with hope, and hope begins with action. Many of the challenges we face today, such as financial stress, burnout, and indecision, don’t just come from a lack of time or money. They can very often stem from something deeper: a subtle loss of meaning.

We don’t intend to lose meaning in what we’re doing and who we are; life simply happens, and if we’re not aware, our meaning evaporates.

And meaning doesn’t magically appear. It begins with hope.

As Viktor Frankl once wrote, “Those who have a ‘why’ to live can bear with almost any how.” His work reminds us that when we lose sight of the future, we start drifting in the present. And that’s when even the best plans fall flat.

That’s why we’re not just here to crunch the numbers. We’re here to help you reconnect with what matters, and move toward it with confidence.

Hope is not wishful thinking

There’s a common misunderstanding that hope means blind optimism. That it’s about pretending everything will work out. But true hope isn’t about certainty, it’s about direction.

Hope is active. It’s grounded in goals, driven by belief, and sustained by a sense of possibility.

Psychologist Charles Snyder breaks it down into three parts:

1. Goals – A clear sense of where you’re heading
2. Agency – The belief that you can take meaningful action
3. Pathways – Multiple routes that help you get there

It’s a simple framework, but it’s incredibly powerful, especially when life feels overwhelming or uncertain.

So what does this have to do with financial planning?

Everything.

When a client says, “I just want to feel more in control,” or “I don’t know what’s next for us,” they’re not asking for a new spreadsheet. They’re asking for a new sense of direction.

And sometimes the best thing we can do is pause and ask:

• “What would give you more hope right now?”
• “What’s one small step I could take this month?”
• “What goal would make the effort feel worth it again?”

You don’t need to figure everything out at once. But taking one small action, backed by purpose, is often what breaks the cycle of stuckness.

As author Rebecca Solnit says: “To hope is to give yourself to the future, and that commitment to the future is what makes the present inhabitable.”

Financial planning is a vehicle for that kind of hope. Not a guarantee, but a guide. Not a promise, but a path. And when the path feels meaningful, we find the strength to walk it.

(Inspired by Gabor Mate’s book: When the Body Says No: The Cost of Hidden Stress)

Learning to listen to your intuition in money matters, matters.

Have you ever agreed to something that felt wrong in your gut, only to regret it later? Maybe it was spending more than you intended, investing in something you didn’t quite understand, or lending money you didn’t really have. The head said yes, the mouth followed, but the body whispered no.

In life and in finance, your body often knows before your brain does. It tightens up when something feels unsafe. It leans forward when something feels exciting or aligned. And too often, we’ve been conditioned to override these signals, especially when it comes to money.

Many of us were taught that financial decisions should be cold, logical, and data-driven. While there’s merit in structure and analysis, we often forget that our financial behaviour is deeply emotional and relational too. Your relationship with money has roots in your upbringing, your life experience, and your values. That means there are times when numbers alone won’t give you the full answer, but your body might.

Perhaps you’re facing a big spending decision, and everything checks out on paper… but you feel tense. Is it a red flag? Or are you bumping up against a long-held belief about your worthiness to enjoy what you’ve worked for?

Or maybe someone asks you for a financial favour, and while you want to help, your stomach knots up. Is that your intuition telling you something about boundaries, or the weight of old habits saying you must always say yes?

Listening to your body isn’t about being impulsive. It’s about being aware. Financial health isn’t just about what’s in the bank, it’s also about how aligned and confident you feel in your decisions. The best plans honour both the facts and the feelings. They help you stay informed without becoming overwhelmed, flexible without losing focus.

If you find yourself hesitating before a big financial move, it’s okay to pause. Ask yourself: What’s behind this tension? What am I afraid of? What part of this decision feels misaligned?

You might uncover a need to revisit your goals, reset expectations, or simply take a little more time before deciding.

How can we work together to help you navigate not only the strategy and spreadsheets, but the stories and sensations that shape your money decisions? Together, we can create a plan that feels as good as it looks. Because when your body says no, it’s often asking you to find a better yes.

Financial planning, like therapy or coaching, isn’t just about solving a problem. It’s about holding a safe space where real change can happen. That space might be a spreadsheet, a conversation, or a long-term plan, but for the work to go deep and stick, it must feel grounded, steady, and secure.

As clinical psychologist Jonathan Shedler once said, “The paradox of psychotherapy is that the more secure the boundaries, the more freedom there is within them, and the deeper the work can become.” This principle doesn’t only apply to therapy rooms; it applies to financial planning too.

Whether you’re supporting someone through a job transition, a difficult divorce, or the anxiety of an uncertain economy, the truth is: most people don’t just need a financial plan, they need a safe frame in which to hold their decisions. They need to know that they’re supported, that the process won’t push them past what they can handle, and that there’s room for reflection before reaction.

Life transitions often stir up vulnerability, and even though we might be talking about investments or debt consolidation, there’s always something deeper humming beneath the surface. That’s why developing your financial and emotional safety plan is helpful. A personalised resource you can use when things feel overwhelming.

Here are a few ways we can help you build that together:

1. Recognise early signs of overwhelm.

Learn to identify the signs that things are getting too much, be it sleepless nights, doom-scrolling financial news, or snapping at loved ones. These moments don’t mean you’re failing; they simply indicate that support is needed.

2. Identify grounding strategies.

Instead of reaching for impulsive solutions (like pulling out of the market or draining savings), explore healthier responses. That might mean taking a walk, calling a trusted person, or reviewing your original financial plan and why it mattered.

3. Create a financial support network.

Create a list of those you can contact, whether that’s a financial planner, therapist, accountability partner, or even a friend who “gets it.” Emotional support is part of financial resilience.

4. List accessible resources.

Compile a small toolkit, which could include articles you’ve read, crisis numbers, online budgeting apps, or previous plans you’ve worked on. Familiar resources provide clarity in chaotic moments.

5. Discuss environment.

What triggers your unhealthy money habits? Is it late-night online shopping? Is it avoiding post or email? We can work together to help you create practical changes in your environment to support better behaviours.

6. Write it all down.

Don’t just talk about the plan, put it on paper. Use calm, simple language. A one-pager that can be kept on the fridge or saved in your phone is far more helpful than a 12-tab spreadsheet when emotions are running high.

Planning isn’t just about preparation—it’s about protection

When clients know they have a plan to fall back on, they’re more likely to stay on track. And when they feel emotionally safe, they’re more open to exploring the real, sometimes uncomfortable, stories they hold about money.

Because it’s not just the plan that changes lives; it’s how well we can engage with it.

Real financial planning goes far beyond spreadsheets, securities and stocks. It’s about connecting money to life. And sometimes, the most important questions aren’t just “Can we afford it?”, but, “Is this the right decision for our lives right now?”

In a recent conversation with clients, a seemingly simple question was raised: “Can we afford to upgrade to a larger home?” On paper, with stable incomes and good credit, the answer was yes. But digging deeper revealed that affordability and alignment are not the same thing.

If this were you, we could say that you can make the numbers work, but is this truly what you want to do, knowing what this means for the rest of your financial life?

When we look beyond affordability and apply financial modelling, several important factors might come to light:

• Hidden interest costs: Most of the new monthly bond repayments would go towards interest rather than equity in the early years.
• High upfront expenses: Transfer duties and transaction fees could add up to a substantial sunk cost.
• Asset imbalance: A growing portion of your wealth will be tied up in property, rather than in accessible, income-producing investments.
• Bonus dependency: Past spending habits could reveal patterns that show lifestyle inflation has crept in, with bonuses or other windfalls being used to “catch up” rather than build financial stability.

These insights help us pause and reflect, expanding the conversation beyond the paperwork. We can more easily consider alternative conversations around what life could look like if you proceeded with the purchase, stayed put and invested the difference, or restructured your current portfolio. The long-term implications for retirement, financial freedom, and stress levels are also then all brought into focus.

Reframing the question

With the couple mentioned above, as the conversation unfolded, they realised the initial question wasn’t just about buying a new home. It was about how they wanted to live. With this insight, they were able to consider improving their current space, renting instead of buying, and exploring properties that could provide additional income.

These discussions led to a more creative and values-based conversation: What kind of lifestyle are we trying to build? What trade-offs are we willing to make?

This is a deeply valuable process as it’s not just financial, but personal. Again, financial planning is not just about answering, “Can I afford this?” It’s about aligning today’s choices with tomorrow’s vision. It’s about building a strategy that balances wants and needs, today and tomorrow, logic and emotion.

When financial planning focuses on more than just money, when it helps us gain clarity on our values, priorities, and long-term aspirations, it becomes one of the most powerful tools for building a life that feels both meaningful and secure.

HOW THEY INFLUENCE YOUR FINANCIAL PLANNING

Have you ever bought something not because you really needed it, but because everyone else seemed to have it? Maybe it was the latest smartphone, a fancy car, or even an expensive dinner at the trendiest new restaurant. If so, you’re not alone.

The truth is, our financial decisions are rarely made in isolation. They’re deeply influenced by the world around us—whether we realise it or not.

One of the most powerful social forces at play is social comparison. It’s human nature to measure our progress against that of others. But in the realm of money, comparison can be a thief of joy. When you scroll through social media or attend gatherings where friends discuss their recent purchases or lavish holidays, it’s easy to fall into the trap of feeling “behind.” The result? Overspending or making financial decisions that are more about keeping up appearances than fulfilling personal goals.

Then there’s peer pressure. It’s not just for teenagers; it’s alive and well in adulthood!

Think about the pressure to contribute to every group gift, attend every expensive social event, or even invest in a “hot” financial opportunity simply because someone you trust is doing it. The danger here is that we often prioritise other people’s financial narratives over our own, neglecting what truly matters to us.

Adding fuel to the fire is marketing and advertising. It’s no secret that marketing is designed to manipulate our desires. But what’s fascinating is how effectively it can tap into our insecurities, our aspirations, and even our social status. Ever noticed how luxury brands position their products as symbols of success? Or how investment firms highlight stories of early retirement, implying that you, too, could achieve this if you just invested with them?

The constant bombardment of messages telling us what we should want, who we should be, and how we should spend our money can have a profound impact on our financial behaviour. What’s more, the financial industry itself isn’t immune to these influences. Advisors, articles, and experts can unintentionally reinforce these social and environmental pressures.

But here’s the good news: awareness is the first step toward freedom. When we begin to identify how social comparison, peer pressure, and marketing influence our decisions, we can start making more intentional choices.

Instead of comparing yourself to others, you can shift the focus to your own goals. Instead of succumbing to peer pressure, you can build financial boundaries that protect your long-term wellbeing. And, instead of letting marketing dictate your desires, you can approach financial decisions from a place of clarity and alignment with your values.

Financial planning isn’t just about growing your wealth—it’s about reclaiming control over your financial narrative. By recognising these social and environmental influences, you can make decisions that truly serve you, not just the world around you.

HOW THEY INFLUENCE YOUR FINANCIAL PLANNING

Have you ever made a financial decision you regretted, only to look back and wonder what on earth you were thinking? Maybe you held onto a losing investment for far too long or refused to explore a new financial opportunity because it just didn’t feel right. The truth is that our brains are wired to simplify complex decisions through shortcuts known as heuristics.

While helpful in day-to-day life, these shortcuts can also lead us astray when it comes to managing our money.

One of the most common mental traps is confirmation bias. This is when we seek out information that validates our existing beliefs while conveniently ignoring anything that contradicts them. If you’ve already decided that property is the safest investment, you’re likely to latch onto articles and conversations that support that viewpoint, while dismissing evidence suggesting otherwise.

The problem? Your financial world becomes an echo chamber, reinforcing beliefs that may no longer be serving your best interests.

Then there’s loss aversion—a cognitive bias where the pain of losing is psychologically more powerful than the pleasure of gaining. Nobel laureates Daniel Kahneman and Amos Tversky demonstrated that losses are felt twice as strongly as equivalent gains. This bias often leads to overly cautious behaviour, such as avoiding necessary financial risks or panic-selling investments at the worst possible time.

Think about the investor who sells off stocks during a market downturn out of sheer fear, missing out on the inevitable recovery. Or the person who avoids pursuing a better job because the risk of change feels too daunting.

Anchoring bias is another tricky one. This is when we rely too heavily on the first piece of information we encounter—or any information that feels particularly salient. For example, if you were told that a particular stock was worth $100 a share, you might use that figure as a benchmark, even if the stock’s value has drastically changed. Or perhaps you’ve been anchored by what your parents taught you about money, even if those lessons are outdated or irrelevant to your current life situation.

So, how do we overcome these biases and move toward healthier financial habits?

The first step is awareness. If you know that your brain is wired to prefer consistency over change, security over risk, and the familiar over the unknown, you can begin to challenge those biases with intentionality. Instead of simply asking, “What do I believe about money?” ask, “Why do I believe what I believe about money?”

Next, it’s about building frameworks that acknowledge these biases while striving for objectivity. Financial planning isn’t just about number-crunching—it’s about questioning assumptions and creating systems that reduce the influence of cognitive biases on your financial decisions.

When you work with a financial planner, you’re not just getting financial advice; you’re gaining a partner who can help you identify and work through these biases. A good financial plan won’t eliminate your biases, but it will help you make decisions that are aligned with your values and long-term goals, rather than short-term emotional responses.

Because the truth is, we all have biases. But the better we understand them, the more empowered we become to make thoughtful, informed financial choices.

HOW THEY INFLUENCE YOUR FINANCIAL PLANNING

Money may be a tool, but how we use that tool is often driven by emotions, beliefs, and life experiences far more than logic and spreadsheets. Why do some people save meticulously while others can’t seem to keep a dollar, pound, or rand in their pocket? Why do some avoid financial planning altogether while others obsess over every transaction?

It all comes down to how we relate to money on a psychological and emotional level.

Let’s start with money mindset. This is the collection of beliefs and attitudes we hold about money, usually shaped in childhood. If you grew up hearing phrases like “money doesn’t grow on trees” or “we can’t afford that,” those messages may have conditioned you to see money as something scarce, difficult to earn, or easily lost.

Conversely, if wealth was celebrated as the ultimate measure of success, you might have internalised the belief that more is always better, which can drive a constant chase for accumulation.

But our mindsets alone don’t determine our behaviours. Financial stress and anxiety play a significant role, often overriding logic and driving us toward decisions rooted in fear, avoidance, or impulsivity. If you feel anxious about your financial future, you might over-save to the point of not allowing yourself to enjoy the wealth you’ve built.

Or, on the flip side, you might avoid looking at your financial situation altogether, hoping it will somehow resolve itself if left alone. Financial anxiety is powerful because it taps into one of our most primal fears: survival. And when our survival feels threatened, rational thinking goes out the window.

Then there’s emotional spending—the act of using money to soothe or avoid emotional discomfort. Maybe it’s shopping to cope with stress, buying lavish gifts to earn approval, or splurging on experiences to distract from deeper emotional pain. Emotional spending is particularly tricky because it often provides temporary relief, making it feel like a solution when, in reality, it’s just a Band-Aid.

What’s fascinating is how these three aspects can interplay. For instance, a scarcity mindset may drive financial anxiety, which then leads to emotional spending as a coping mechanism. Alternatively, someone driven by the need to accumulate wealth as a measure of success may feel constant financial stress, pushing them to overwork or take excessive risks.

Recognising how your mindset, stress, and emotions are influencing your financial decisions is the first step toward change. It’s not about trying to eliminate emotions from your financial planning—it’s about understanding them and allowing them to inform your decisions in a healthy way.

What does this mean for financial planning? It means acknowledging that real financial freedom isn’t just about the numbers; it’s about understanding and addressing the emotions and beliefs behind those numbers. The most successful financial plans are those that take into account not just your resources, but your relationship with those resources.

After all, financial wellness isn’t just about accumulation; it’s about alignment. Aligning your money mindset with your values, recognising the emotional triggers that drive impulsive decisions, and finding healthy ways to address financial stress and anxiety.

Procrastination gets a bad rap. It’s often labelled as laziness, lack of discipline, or avoidance. But what if there’s more to it? What if procrastination isn’t just resistance, but information?

We’ve all done it—stared at a task, knowing it needs to be done, but finding every possible reason to delay. Maybe it’s reviewing your finances, having that long-overdue conversation, or finally tackling an investment decision. Instead of moving forward, we sit in limbo, caught between intention and action.

Sharon Moller, a behavioural finance specialist and professional coach, sees procrastination not as a flaw but as a sign—one that offers us a deeper understanding of ourselves. And when we stop seeing it as a failure and start treating it as feedback, we can uncover what’s really holding us back.

Instead of pushing through procrastination with sheer willpower, it helps to ask: “Why am I hesitating?” Often, avoidance isn’t about the task itself, it’s about what the task represents.

Take financial planning, for example. Many people put off reviewing their savings, updating their estate plans, or even booking an appointment with a financial planner. But is it really about the numbers? Or is it the fear of confronting difficult truths; uncertainty about the future, regret over past decisions, or anxiety about getting it ‘wrong’?

Avoidance is rarely random. If we listen closely, it often reveals our underlying concerns.

Our current culture glorifies productivity, the common advice for procrastination is simple: just do it (thank you, Nike!). But if starting was that easy, we wouldn’t be stuck in the first place. The reality is, forcing action before we’re ready can actually create more resistance.

Think about financial decisions: investments made out of panic, budgeting done out of guilt, or major career shifts taken without clarity. These rushed actions often lead to regret, rather than progress. Instead of forcing movement, we need to create readiness.

Here’s a paradox: sometimes, the only way to move forward is to stop pushing and start allowing. In finance and in life, readiness doesn’t come from pressure, it comes from surrender.

Letting go doesn’t mean giving up. It means surrendering to the process, trusting that action will come naturally when we’re aligned with what we truly need. When we let go of the guilt and judgment around our procrastination, we give ourselves the space to move forward in a way that actually sticks.

Procrastination and our Financial Planning
This concept is just as true in financial planning as it is in personal growth. The best financial plans aren’t built under duress. They’re built from a place of thoughtful, informed decision-making. The most successful investors aren’t the ones who react impulsively but the ones who prepare steadily over time.

So, the next time you catch yourself hesitating, pause. Instead of fighting the procrastination, listen to it.

Is it fear? Is it uncertainty? Is it a lack of clarity?

Your hesitation might just be telling you what you need in order to move forward. The question is: will you be ready to hear it?