All of us have moments in our life when we realise that we have to make a change. Sometimes change is something we choose, and sometimes it happens to us, forcing us to find a new way to cope.

Making a sustainable change is something that we can choose – before life forces something worse upon us. As Reinhold Niebuhr’s serenity prayer says:

“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; the courage to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference.”

We can’t change everything in our lives, but we can change some things. However, it’s not always easy to sustain the change, and this can become a frustrating cycle of to-and-fro that leaves us with a profound lack of serenity.

Change is a process of growth; it’s not supposed to be easy and natural. It’s a process of creating a new natural, and it will eventually become second nature, but getting to that point requires intention, skills and coaching.

STATING INTENTION

For anyone familiar with the 12-Step-Programme, they will know that the first few steps to making a sustainable change involve acceptance. You need to accept that you are responsible for that change that you’d like to see. It’s powerful to articulate, verbally and written down, the changes you’d like to make in your life and accept that you are the best person (the ONLY person) who can make those changes.

This is where we create intention. Without this first step, our efforts will likely fizzle out as our commitment and persistence wane when things get tough.

CREATING A PLAN

Prepare and plan. A friend recently shared his experience of becoming a vegetarian and highlighted how much more time is needed for food preparation and planning. He never thought he could follow a diet that excluded meat, as he was the first to buy a boerewors-roll at the local Saturday market and loved to snack on meaty-leftovers.

Four years down the line, he and his family spend considerably more time planning and preparing meals, and they love it! They’re more mindful of what they’re eating and are living a choice that they’ve made for themselves.

The change was possible and sustainable because they put in the effort to plan meals and do the needed preparation. A bonus of this journey is that they can be more mindful, which is a powerful tool for keeping our head in the game. And, they are able to spend quality time together as a family when they prepare food together

Whether it’s changing your diet, your spending habits or spending less time on social media, planning and preparing your world around you to LOOK different will help you BE different.

SUPPORT AND ENCOURAGEMENT

As we look at the example above, another element of their success in embracing a different diet was that they had the support and encouragement of each other in the family. They decided to make the change together.

When it comes to your changes, you don’t necessarily have to have the support of those in your family, but it certainly helps. If your family are not on board, seek out thought leaders or influencers who have the same mindset – they’re a great source of encouragement, and they add credibility, as they most likely did the research!

People who support you help you hold onto the hope of what your changed future could look like; they hold you accountable to the goals that you’ve set for yourself and help you develop your potential.

Above all – remember this: you are not alone. You’re not the only person to want to change your debt situation, change your eating habits, your sleeping habits or bring more balance to your life. Find out, speak out, reach out and begin to see sustainable change in your life.

Hygge (pronounced hue-guh, not hoo-gah) is a Danish word used when acknowledging a feeling or moment as cosy, charming or special. This can happen whether alone or with friends, at home or out, ordinary or extraordinary. It’s about how the event makes you feel, not the event itself.

From Danish cookies, cheese and pastries to their culture of simplicity, politeness, and equality – they should have a pretty good sense of how cosy-charming-special truly feels! And, when life is handing us bagfuls of lemons, it’s encouraging to know that there’s a word for how we can adopt a strategy to cope; hygge is a fresh, yet traditionally sound, system to consider.

In Danish, it means “to give courage, comfort, joy”, but in the Old Norse, it stems from the words used for “to think” and “hug”. It’s an active word that quite literally wants to embrace. It’s a word that affirms everything will be okay, that we’ve got this, and that we’re going to make it through to the other side.

Hygge helps us find and acknowledge comfort, contentment and wellbeing in the current moment, and not feel like it’s an unobtainable future feeling. It’s wise to consider this when we look at our life plans. Planning can be very future-focussed and, if we’re not careful, transport us out of the present and into a future that may or may not happen.

But joy is found in the present; it’s not something that we work towards. Joy is something we choose for today. We shouldn’t be planning to be joyful; we should be planning from a place of joy. This is how we can muster up the courage to be present and not panic about tomorrow.

Courage is resilience put to the test. We’re living in an age that is calling us to be more courageous and more vulnerable. The awareness that courage and vulnerability go hand-in-hand is so new that many large businesses are still restructuring their leadership cultures. They hope to connect on a more engaging level with their teams and find more fulfilment, more hygge, in their corporate culture.

Hygge reminds us that it’s okay to wear track pants today, to stay in those comfy old socks and work from the couch. It reminds us that comfort foods (those cookies, cheeses, pastries and pasta…) help heal our emotional and mental states. It can be as simple as lighting a candle and surrounding ourselves with people and things we love.

We don’t have to swim upstream all day, every day. We need to take rest days, personal health days and pamper days. It’s about the attitude of comfort, not the cost of conformity.

Give yourself a hug – take a Hygge-Day.

Everyone knows that building wealth can help to ensure financial security in the future. Yet, it is a small number of the world’s population who have had the opportunity and fortitude to save money consistently.

In some cases, this is because putting money away is not the easiest thing to do. It’s a tough habit to form. As a result, we don’t give ourselves time to save, only time to spend.

These behaviours cause us to start believing specific money stories about our lives, and the problem becomes persistent when we start believing what we tell ourselves. When it comes to money, there are a lot of beliefs that are not true. Some of these are our own, and others come from our parents and the people around us.

We need to reframe our minds and tell ourselves positive things if we want to progress towards greater financial security.

Here are five things to stop telling yourself about money.

• I don’t need to save for retirement because I won’t retire

Even if you love the work you do, always keep in mind that it won’t be forever.

One of the lessons we should take from the world upheavals of 2020 is that we can encounter disruptions that can lead us to lose our income prematurely. 

Many – especially young people – tell themselves that it’s not yet time, or that they simply don’t need to build up reserves yet. Retirement is changing, the way we prepare for it and engage with it is changing, but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t be saving for whatever that eventuality might look like.

• All my money should be in a savings account 

The money in your bank savings account may be sufficient for several months as an emergency fund, but keeping all of your savings in there is not sustainable. Money that is not compounding will decrease in value because of inflation.

There are various options you can explore that will help to invest money that will generate interest. Tax-free savings accounts (TFSAs) and ETFs are worthwhile entry options that we could discuss.

Having money in your savings account for the daily purchases or necessary transactions is practical and wise, but also, have money growing somewhere else.

• Investing is inaccessible because it’s risky, complicated and only for the wealthy

This belief is one of the reasons some of us do not even start investing. Thinking like this creates a more significant risk that will complicate your financial life a lot more in the future. 

The best way to overcome it is to consult a professional financial advisor to help you with the advice you need to navigate the risks. This will help you to discover what opportunities there are for you to invest in, take it in manageable steps and grow your wealth right from today. 

• Only rich people can afford to build wealth

For a lot of us, when we hear the words savings or investment, we immediately think of an amount with many zeros. Sometimes we picture a mogul in a big shiny car. We tend to believe that saving is for a particular, exclusive club. 

You have the ability to afford the lifestyle you would like. 

Even if you’re young, you can build up to your own multiple zeros if you start today. You can start with anything you can afford. A little bit every month creates the habits of wealthy people.

Start by honestly reviewing your spending habits and budget. If you find unnecessary expenses, cut them and save it to cultivate the habit of building wealth.

For many of us, we tend to believe that saving and investing is for a particular age group or the elite, people who can afford to save. But you have the power to create your own wealth.

Young or old, you can start saving with a small amount. Be honest when reviewing your spending habits, cut out the unnecessary expenses from your budget, and begin cultivating a habit of saving.

• It doesn’t matter because I’ll always be in debt 

Getting out of debt will require more work than it did to get you into debt. It is not easy, but it is possible. 

Conquering your debt doesn’t need a sophisticated strategy or a massive windfall from the lottery. Paying off one debt at a time will improve your perspective of your financial situation and get you to believe in your power to live debt-free. The little you can contribute will undoubtedly reduce your debt.

Here’s the trick: it all starts in your mind. If you learn to develop a more positive outlook on how money works, you’ll discover your power to create the wealth you need for the life you want. 

Saving is for everyone, and there’s no better time to find out how you can start than now. Start today!

We all want more from life. We want to live a good and meaningful life. This is how we generate hope, by believing that there is something new for us to discover, fresh for us to share and fulfilling for us to experience. 

Sometimes life will gift us a reward that we haven’t had to work for directly, but for everything else, it is a constant cycle of trade-offs. We have many resources at our disposal, from skills, knowledge and time, to money, assets and relationships.

In a world that is easily distracted by materialism, it’s easy to become focussed on the physical investments we can make into our present and future wellbeing. But there are many investment ideas to keep us balanced, and intentional about our choices.

• Invest your time

We can spend time on an activity, or we can invest time in an activity. One way to bring balance and fulfilment is to learn to manage your time, to not feel like you have wasted it. 

Who you spend your time with, where, why, and what can help you reflect and identify more profound value in your life. 

• Invest your money

No future is ever certain, but we can certainly reduce risk (mitigation) and bolster financial security in the future when we invest our money. This doesn’t always mean that it has to be invested in the markets or financial vehicles; you could also invest in the people around you by supporting them financially.

Economically empowering others shows a strong social awareness and can be uplifting on a larger community level.

• Invest your energy

Between careers, friends, family, health, and everything else in-between, balancing your lifestyle can be a challenge. Apart from investing your time, different activities require different levels of energy and engagement.

Social media and technology have made us ‘always online’, and this unfettered presence can be a significant energy sapper. We may not think that we’re spending large batches of time, but the energy that we invest (or waste) on conversations and journeys of thought that are sparked by a social media post or a video call, can be immense.

Yes, this may mean reducing your social circle, but it could just mean applying more intentionality around how you invest your energy. A secret to investing energy is to find activities and relationships that revive, refresh and inspire us.

• Invest in yourself

Try doing at least one thing that makes you happy each week. It is not selfish; rather, it’s about recognising that you’re important, and nurturing yourself needs to happen before you can encourage and enable others.

Investments of value are not just those that involve the exchange of money; they are multi-faceted and crucial to finding value, meaning and fulfilment in life.

There seems to be an increasing drive to pursue happiness; we want to be satisfied and content with who we are and what we do with our lives.

Whilst a few people seem to eventually “find” their happiness, many of us are still trying to figure out what would genuinely lift our spirit… and keep it there!

The usual assumption is that we’ll be happier when we achieve success, but some successful people think their accomplishments are still not enough, not finding satisfaction with who they are and what they’ve done.

Perhaps it’s not about finding happiness, and it’s more about finding meaning. Studies show that people who have found meaning in their lives are more resilient in pursuit of a fulfilling life.

Having listened to Emily Esfahani Smith’s TED talk on ‘There’s more to life than being happy’, here are some ideas to work on.

• Find where we belong

Belonging does not merely come from showing up or being present. Some people who have been part of communities for a long time still might feel like they don’t belong. The sense of belonging develops in groups or communities where we feel valued for who we are and what we contribute.

Love and kindness are where true belonging is born. Knowing that the contribution we make is appreciated indeed develops a confident feeling of belonging. From this confidence, we can begin to find our purpose, which is another essential pillar of living a meaningful life.

• See our purpose

Finding our purpose may not happen today or tomorrow; it may take a while to find. 

This could be because deep purpose is not found in what we do, but in what we give. As we grow in our place of meaning, we will start to see that an element of what we do becomes a service to others. It’s about creating space in our lives to serve others and make positive contributions to their lives.

Why do I wake up in the morning? Why do I do what I do? Who am I doing it for? Who else benefits from my work or actions? How else can I make it better? These are some of the questions that can start us on a journey to finding our purpose and transcend the frustrations of daily challenges.

• Be open to transcendence

Whilst transcendence is often used in a spiritual sense, it can be very practical. It simply means that we’re starting to see that we are part of something bigger than ourselves. Our sense of belonging, our embracing of purpose, helps us see that the work we’re doing contributes to something far more significant and far more connected than we realised.

As we live through these experiences, create memories of meaning and engage in purposeful work, we gather up stories that we can share with others, to encourage and embolden them.

Good stories are significant in living a meaningful life.

• Personal storytelling

What stories are you telling yourself? What is the story you tell yourself when you reflect on your life?

What you think of yourself profoundly impacts your behaviour and actions.

“It all starts in the mind,” Napoleon Hill once said. “Whatever the mind can conceive and believe, it can achieve.”

Beliefs matter because they can lead to habits.

Positive storytelling can give you the courage to relentlessly pursue the things you want and live a life that will be meaningful to others too. 

Applying these ideas into your daily life won’t be linear or clean-cut, but if you can explore one idea at a time and define them according to your life or what they mean to you, you’ll be taking a step in the right direction.

Remember, all the money in the world will have no value if we have not discovered some sense of meaning.