In lifestyle financial planning, striking the right balance between empathy and codependency is essential to building healthy relationships while maintaining personal well-being. A recent tweet by Dr Nicole LePera (@Theholisticpsyc) highlighted the differences between empathy and codependency.

Empathy means understanding a person’s feelings and being able to put ourselves in their shoes. In the context of financial planning, empathy allows us to be aware of and attuned to the emotions and perspectives of others. By actively listening and offering support from a place of compassion or curiosity, we can create authentic, safe relationships where we can all feel seen, heard, and understood. This emotional connection is invaluable in helping us make important financial decisions that align with our values and life goals.

On the other hand, codependency involves chronic neglect of ourselves and the tendency to go into “rescuer” or “fixer” mode when someone shares their emotions. In financial planning, codependency can manifest as giving unsolicited advice, agreeing to help friends and family at the cost of our own emotional well-being, or trying to rescue them from their own actions. It’s crucial to remember that our role is not to fix others’ issues, but to love, support and empower them to make informed decisions.

When we’re in fixer mode, we may feel uncomfortable or anxious with our own emotions and try to change someone else’s situation instead of understanding their feelings. This lack of boundaries can lead to feelings of burnout, resentment, or being taken for granted.

To avoid codependency in lifestyle financial planning, we must practice “holding space” for others without interjecting our own feelings. If we notice the impulse to give advice or “fix” the situation, we should remind ourselves that we are only responsible for our own decisions, not everyone else’s.

To strike the right balance between empathy and codependency, it’s crucial to maintain clear boundaries and an awareness of our roles in the lives of others. If we are asked for help or support and are in a space to provide that assistance, we can offer our expertise and resources. However, if we aren’t asked for help, we must release our role of trying to rescue others and focus on empowering them to make their own decisions.

By cultivating empathy, we can create safe and authentic relationships with others while maintaining clear boundaries and avoiding the pitfalls of codependency. This approach allows us to guide ourselves and others towards financial decisions that align with values and goals, ultimately leading to a more fulfilling life for all of us.

Our mindset is crucial to our financial success. Dealing with our money can quickly become an obsessive task; either focusing solely on the amount we’re lacking or missing, or becoming obsessed with saving and storing up, we can sometimes do more harm than good. This is why mindset plays a significant role in how we approach financial planning.

Whilst a miss is as good as a mile, at the same time, too much of a good thing can be a bad thing.

To achieve balance in our financial lives, adopting a mindset that “just enough” is actually a very healthy space in which to be, can be helpful. This means recognising that while saving and investing for the future is essential, enjoying life in the present is also crucial. With this mindset, we can create a financial plan that prioritises our long-term goals while still allowing us to live comfortably in the present.

“Just enough”, however, is not a number; it’s actually a lifestyle choice. Yes, it’s sometimes represented by a number, but it will constantly change with our lives and situations. And, it is explored through a process of working with some of the following ideas:

• Identify your long-term financial goals: Determine what you want to achieve in the future, such as buying a home, starting a family, or retiring comfortably. This will help you understand how much you need to save and invest to reach these goals.
• Assess your current financial situation: Take stock of your income, expenses, debts, and assets to understand where you stand. This will give you an idea of how much you need to save, invest or spend to maintain a comfortable lifestyle.
• Prioritise your values and interests: Consider what aspects of your life are most important and what brings you the most joy. Allocating your resources towards these areas will contribute to your happiness and satisfaction.

Once you have defined your “just enough,” it’s time to implement this mindset into your financial plan. This involves balancing saving, investing, and spending that aligns with your long-term goals and values.

• Saving: While having an emergency fund and saving for specific goals is essential, remember that it’s also important to enjoy life now. Instead of obsessing over every penny saved, focus on building healthy savings habits and balancing saving and spending.
• Investing: As you work towards your long-term financial goals, don’t hesitate to take calculated risks with your investments. A well-diversified portfolio can help you reach your objectives without putting all of your eggs in one basket.
• Spending: Adopting a “just enough” mindset doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy life now. Allocate a portion of your budget to discretionary spending, allowing you to engage in activities and experiences that bring you joy.

Achieving balance in financial planning means understanding that having “just enough” can be as good as having plenty saved up. By adopting a mindset of “just enough” and focusing on the areas of our lives that truly matter, we can create a financial plan to live a fulfilling and enjoyable life while still working towards our long-term goals.

Personal financial planning has become critical in shaping our lives and determining our future. However, many of us need help to make the right decisions and achieve our financial goals. The key to overcoming these challenges lies in harnessing and leveraging our strengths to create a life of our own design.

By understanding and embracing our strengths, we can replace apathy with passion and ambivalence with engagement, ultimately shaping a more authentic and fulfilling financial future.

The journey to financial wellness begins with recognising that we all possess unique strengths that can help us navigate the complex world of personal finance. Our strengths can be anything from our ability to save diligently to our aptitude for understanding investment strategies. However, knowing our strengths is only half the battle. The real magic happens when we make a conscious decision to utilise these strengths in our financial planning endeavours.

As F. Scott Fitzgerald once said, “It’s never too late to be whoever you want to be. I hope you live a life you’re proud of, and if you find you’re not, I hope you have the strength to start over again.” This sentiment holds true for our financial lives as well. No matter where you are on your financial journey, there’s always room for growth and improvement. By engaging our strengths, we can create a life that aligns with our values, energises our behaviour, and moves us closer to our financial goals.

What is holding you back from maximising your strengths in your financial planning? Many of us avoid using our strengths because we fear fully committing and failing. However, it is essential to understand that failure is a natural learning process. Instead of fearing failure, we should view it as an opportunity for growth and self-improvement.

By using our strengths in our financial planning, we create a more authentic and empowered relationship with our money. Even if we don’t achieve our desired outcome, engaging our strengths can lead to personal growth and greater fulfilment. As a result, it’s crucial to shift our mindset and focus on the potential benefits of embracing our strengths, rather than the fear of failure.

The road to financial success is paved with all of our choices. By acknowledging the existence of these moments of choice and being prepared to step forward and embrace our strengths, we can create a more authentic and fulfilling financial future.

Let’s chat if you need help engaging your strengths in your financial planning. By asking the right questions, we can navigate a helpful journey of reflection and self-discovery, enabling you to make more informed and authentic financial decisions.

One of the reasons why so many people chase riches, relationships and reputation to define their value is that they haven’t been coached to understand that they can build a life of worth, value and meaning without relying on other people, positions or possessions to define them.

If we want to know how we add value to the world, we need to know what our values are. Discovering our character strengths is a building block of this journey; they make us who we are and give us a sense of purpose and meaning.

These strengths are positive aspects of our personality that others like, respect, and cherish. They are the qualities that make us unique and valuable and are essential to our well-being and happiness.

Ryan Niemiec and Robert McGrath, researchers in the field of character strengths, emphasise that when we express ourselves using these strengths in our thoughts and actions, we feel happier and more grounded. This is because character strengths help us engage fully in the present moment, connect with others, and find meaning in our lives.

Character strengths are different from our interests, passions, and skills. While these are important aspects of our lives, they are not the same as character strengths. Interests, passions, and skills may change, but character strengths persist across time and cultures. They are central to who we are and how we think of ourselves.

The Values in Action Inventory (VIA) is a popular tool for identifying and measuring character strengths. VIA identifies 24 character strengths that fall under six broad categories of virtues: wisdom, courage, humanity, justice, temperance, and transcendence. These virtues are not unique to any one culture or religion but are universal to human beings.

Wisdom consists of strengths that help us acquire and use knowledge, such as creativity, curiosity, and love of learning. Courage includes strengths that enable us to face challenges and adversity with resilience and determination, such as bravery, perseverance, and honesty. Humanity encompasses strengths that promote social intelligence and connection, such as kindness, empathy, and compassion.

Justice consists of strengths that promote fairness and equity, such as leadership, teamwork, and social responsibility. Temperance includes strengths that help us regulate our impulses and desires, such as self-control, humility, and forgiveness. Finally, Transcendence consists of strengths that help us connect with something larger than ourselves, such as gratitude, spirituality, and appreciation of beauty.

By identifying and cultivating our character strengths, we can enhance and protect our well-being to lead more fulfilling lives. When we use our strengths, we experience a sense of flow and engagement, leading to increased happiness, productivity, and creativity!

When it comes to financial planning, many believe that the ultimate goal is accumulating as much money as possible. However, this approach may only sometimes lead to a fulfilling lifestyle. Instead, it’s important to consider what kind of life you want and then create a financial plan that allows you to achieve that lifestyle.

As Chris Brogan said, “The goal isn’t more money. The goal is living life on your terms.” This means that financial planning should be about creating a life that makes you happy and fulfilled, rather than just accumulating wealth for its own sake. Together, there are a few key steps we can take to help you achieve this goal.

First, take the time to define what “living life on your terms” means to you. This could involve creating a vision board, writing out a list of goals, or simply spending some time reflecting on what brings you joy and fulfilment. In our meetings, we like to work through open-ended questions that help you recognise blind spots and remind you of goals you may have had earlier in life but have long since left behind. Once you have a clear idea of what you want your life to look like, you can create a financial plan supporting those goals.

One important aspect of financial planning is budgeting. It’s helpful to understand your income and expenses to create a budget that aligns with your goals. A budget, or spending plan, allows us to uncover opportunities to increase your income and enhance how you use it. The goal is to create a budget that will enable you to live the life you want without constantly worrying about money.

Another important area of focus for us is investing. Investing can help you grow your wealth over time, giving you increased freedom in the long run. However, investing wisely and choosing investments that align with your values and goals is crucial. This might even incorporate investing in companies that are socially responsible or that align with your personal values.

For all of us, it’s beneficial to be mindful of our spending habits. We can so easily fall into the trap of “keeping up with the Joneses” and spending money on things that don’t actually bring us happiness or fulfillment. By being mindful of spending and focusing on the things that truly matter, we can create a lifestyle financial plan that aligns with our values and allows us to live life on our terms.