Who are you? Who do you want to become?

Identity-based financial goals are more powerful than you think.

“The goal is not to read a book. The goal is to become a reader,” writes James Clear in his bestseller, Atomic Habits. When it comes to financial planning, we can learn much from this brief nugget of wisdom.

Many of us set financial goals based on outcomes.

“I want to save X amount.”

“I want to retire at 60.”

“I want to pay off my bond in 15 years.”

And there’s nothing wrong with that. Goals give us direction. But sometimes they don’t give us enough motivation, especially when the path gets difficult. Sometimes we need to dig a little deeper.

That’s where identity-based planning can help.

The power of identity

James Clear’s work on habit change offers a simple but powerful idea:

If you want lasting change, don’t just focus on what you want to achieve, focus on who you want to become.

The goal isn’t just to save.

It’s to become someone who saves.

The goal isn’t just to invest.

It’s to become an investor.

The goal isn’t just to be generous.

It’s to become a giver.

This shift changes everything. Because when your actions reinforce your identity, every small step becomes part of something bigger.

So how does this work in financial planning?

Let’s say your goal is to grow your wealth. That’s a good outcome, but it’s also abstract.

Now reframe it: “I want to become the kind of person who consistently invests in their future.”

See the difference? One is a destination; the other is a decision about who you are and how you show up.

You might:

• Set up a monthly debit order to your investment account
• Track your spending with curiosity instead of guilt
• Start reading investment articles, not because you need to, but because it’s what investors do

Every one of those actions confirms your identity, and builds momentum.

Life will throw curveballs. Markets will dip. Goals will need adjusting. But when your actions are rooted in identity, you’re more likely to keep going. Because even when the numbers don’t move, you’re still becoming someone you’re proud of.

So here’s a reflection question for us all: Who are we becoming through our financial decisions?

If we start there, the rest, budgets, investments, retirement plans, can be built around that foundation.

Because good financial planning isn’t just about reaching a target. It’s about helping you become the kind of person who lives the life you’ve always wanted.

You have a lens, and here’s why it matters…

Financial planning is often seen as a numbers game, retirement goals, investment returns, tax efficiency. But beneath the spreadsheets lies something far more personal: our stories, values, and lived experiences.

And that’s where things get interesting.

As financial planners, we work with individuals and families from diverse cultural backgrounds, belief systems, and worldviews. Yet many of the tools we use, goal-setting frameworks, risk tolerance models, even the concept of “financial independence”, are built on Western ideals. They often emphasise individualism, accumulation, and long-term control. These aren’t wrong, but they are a lens. And if we never examine that lens, we risk applying assumptions that simply don’t spark the conversations that truly connect with us.

For some of us, financial security means having a strong retirement portfolio. For others, it may be about taking care of aging parents, funding a cousin’s education, or building a legacy within a close-knit community. In many cultures, money is not just personal, it’s communal, spiritual, or symbolic.

When our financial planning doesn’t take these perspectives into account, it can feel out of touch. And worse, it can unintentionally dismiss what truly matters to our loved ones.

One of the most powerful tools in your financial planning toolkit isn’t a calculator, it’s curiosity.

When we take time to reflect on our own upbringing, cultural assumptions, and professional biases, we begin to see how our perspective has been shaped. And that insight allows us to become better listeners. Better partners. Better leaders.

It means asking questions like:

• “What does financial freedom mean to you?”
• “What traditions or values influence your financial decisions?”
• “Are there any beliefs about money that feel important to acknowledge in your planning?”

We don’t need to have all the answers, but we do need to create space to ask more inclusive questions.

At its heart, financial planning is about helping us make decisions that align with our values, not simply conform with everyone else. And when we make space for diverse perspectives, we unlock deeper trust, stronger relationships, and more meaningful financial outcomes.

As the author Anthony Robbins puts it:

“To communicate effectively, we must realize that we are all different in how we perceive the world and use this understanding to guide our communication with others.”

In a world that’s more connected, and more complex, than ever before, this kind of empathy isn’t optional. It’s essential.

Because great financial planning doesn’t just respect the numbers. It respects the whole person.

Meaning starts with hope, and hope begins with action. Many of the challenges we face today, such as financial stress, burnout, and indecision, don’t just come from a lack of time or money. They can very often stem from something deeper: a subtle loss of meaning.

We don’t intend to lose meaning in what we’re doing and who we are; life simply happens, and if we’re not aware, our meaning evaporates.

And meaning doesn’t magically appear. It begins with hope.

As Viktor Frankl once wrote, “Those who have a ‘why’ to live can bear with almost any how.” His work reminds us that when we lose sight of the future, we start drifting in the present. And that’s when even the best plans fall flat.

That’s why we’re not just here to crunch the numbers. We’re here to help you reconnect with what matters, and move toward it with confidence.

Hope is not wishful thinking

There’s a common misunderstanding that hope means blind optimism. That it’s about pretending everything will work out. But true hope isn’t about certainty, it’s about direction.

Hope is active. It’s grounded in goals, driven by belief, and sustained by a sense of possibility.

Psychologist Charles Snyder breaks it down into three parts:

1. Goals – A clear sense of where you’re heading
2. Agency – The belief that you can take meaningful action
3. Pathways – Multiple routes that help you get there

It’s a simple framework, but it’s incredibly powerful, especially when life feels overwhelming or uncertain.

So what does this have to do with financial planning?

Everything.

When a client says, “I just want to feel more in control,” or “I don’t know what’s next for us,” they’re not asking for a new spreadsheet. They’re asking for a new sense of direction.

And sometimes the best thing we can do is pause and ask:

• “What would give you more hope right now?”
• “What’s one small step I could take this month?”
• “What goal would make the effort feel worth it again?”

You don’t need to figure everything out at once. But taking one small action, backed by purpose, is often what breaks the cycle of stuckness.

As author Rebecca Solnit says: “To hope is to give yourself to the future, and that commitment to the future is what makes the present inhabitable.”

Financial planning is a vehicle for that kind of hope. Not a guarantee, but a guide. Not a promise, but a path. And when the path feels meaningful, we find the strength to walk it.

(Inspired by Gabor Mate’s book: When the Body Says No: The Cost of Hidden Stress)

Learning to listen to your intuition in money matters, matters.

Have you ever agreed to something that felt wrong in your gut, only to regret it later? Maybe it was spending more than you intended, investing in something you didn’t quite understand, or lending money you didn’t really have. The head said yes, the mouth followed, but the body whispered no.

In life and in finance, your body often knows before your brain does. It tightens up when something feels unsafe. It leans forward when something feels exciting or aligned. And too often, we’ve been conditioned to override these signals, especially when it comes to money.

Many of us were taught that financial decisions should be cold, logical, and data-driven. While there’s merit in structure and analysis, we often forget that our financial behaviour is deeply emotional and relational too. Your relationship with money has roots in your upbringing, your life experience, and your values. That means there are times when numbers alone won’t give you the full answer, but your body might.

Perhaps you’re facing a big spending decision, and everything checks out on paper… but you feel tense. Is it a red flag? Or are you bumping up against a long-held belief about your worthiness to enjoy what you’ve worked for?

Or maybe someone asks you for a financial favour, and while you want to help, your stomach knots up. Is that your intuition telling you something about boundaries, or the weight of old habits saying you must always say yes?

Listening to your body isn’t about being impulsive. It’s about being aware. Financial health isn’t just about what’s in the bank, it’s also about how aligned and confident you feel in your decisions. The best plans honour both the facts and the feelings. They help you stay informed without becoming overwhelmed, flexible without losing focus.

If you find yourself hesitating before a big financial move, it’s okay to pause. Ask yourself: What’s behind this tension? What am I afraid of? What part of this decision feels misaligned?

You might uncover a need to revisit your goals, reset expectations, or simply take a little more time before deciding.

How can we work together to help you navigate not only the strategy and spreadsheets, but the stories and sensations that shape your money decisions? Together, we can create a plan that feels as good as it looks. Because when your body says no, it’s often asking you to find a better yes.

Financial planning, like therapy or coaching, isn’t just about solving a problem. It’s about holding a safe space where real change can happen. That space might be a spreadsheet, a conversation, or a long-term plan, but for the work to go deep and stick, it must feel grounded, steady, and secure.

As clinical psychologist Jonathan Shedler once said, “The paradox of psychotherapy is that the more secure the boundaries, the more freedom there is within them, and the deeper the work can become.” This principle doesn’t only apply to therapy rooms; it applies to financial planning too.

Whether you’re supporting someone through a job transition, a difficult divorce, or the anxiety of an uncertain economy, the truth is: most people don’t just need a financial plan, they need a safe frame in which to hold their decisions. They need to know that they’re supported, that the process won’t push them past what they can handle, and that there’s room for reflection before reaction.

Life transitions often stir up vulnerability, and even though we might be talking about investments or debt consolidation, there’s always something deeper humming beneath the surface. That’s why developing your financial and emotional safety plan is helpful. A personalised resource you can use when things feel overwhelming.

Here are a few ways we can help you build that together:

1. Recognise early signs of overwhelm.

Learn to identify the signs that things are getting too much, be it sleepless nights, doom-scrolling financial news, or snapping at loved ones. These moments don’t mean you’re failing; they simply indicate that support is needed.

2. Identify grounding strategies.

Instead of reaching for impulsive solutions (like pulling out of the market or draining savings), explore healthier responses. That might mean taking a walk, calling a trusted person, or reviewing your original financial plan and why it mattered.

3. Create a financial support network.

Create a list of those you can contact, whether that’s a financial planner, therapist, accountability partner, or even a friend who “gets it.” Emotional support is part of financial resilience.

4. List accessible resources.

Compile a small toolkit, which could include articles you’ve read, crisis numbers, online budgeting apps, or previous plans you’ve worked on. Familiar resources provide clarity in chaotic moments.

5. Discuss environment.

What triggers your unhealthy money habits? Is it late-night online shopping? Is it avoiding post or email? We can work together to help you create practical changes in your environment to support better behaviours.

6. Write it all down.

Don’t just talk about the plan, put it on paper. Use calm, simple language. A one-pager that can be kept on the fridge or saved in your phone is far more helpful than a 12-tab spreadsheet when emotions are running high.

Planning isn’t just about preparation—it’s about protection

When clients know they have a plan to fall back on, they’re more likely to stay on track. And when they feel emotionally safe, they’re more open to exploring the real, sometimes uncomfortable, stories they hold about money.

Because it’s not just the plan that changes lives; it’s how well we can engage with it.